Why do Cyberbullies Hurt People?


Fire Ant

Whenever we come into the question of why people hurt other people, we like to explain it by using a fire ant sting.

For instance, have you ever been stung by a fire ant? What was your first reaction when you got stung? You flicked it off as fast as you could! The moment you felt that pain shoot through your finger or toe, you instantly take action and try to remove the pain.

In a similar way, bullies (online and offline alike) are often in pain. Somewhere deep down inside, they feel pain. Whether it be from a family situation, a situation at school or something someone did to hurt them.

They’ve taken a fire ant sting straight to the chest, right into their heart, and the pain is excruciating.

Bullies’ knee-jerk, almost instantaneous reaction is to reach into that pain and then lash out against someone else so that they might share in the same pain. Bullies believe that perhaps their pain won’t hurt as bad if they are able to hurt someone else.

Hurting people hurt people. Whenever you see a bully picking on another student, you can know that the bully probably has some kind of pain hidden inside of them.

In all reality, cyberbullies need to take a good look inwards and try to identify the pain that is going on inside of themselves. They need a counselor, teacher or parent who can sit with them and talk through whatever situation is bothering them and allow that to come to the surface.

For those who are bullied, they know that bullies actually need compassion because the bullies are simply hurting people who hurt people. If a bullied student reports the bullying to a teacher or parent who can step in, then they are not only helping themselves get out of the situation, but they are coming to the aid of the bully who needs help dealing with the pain that is hidden inside of him or her.

Change the culture of your school by changing the way your students think about bullies. Use the form on the right to book a training today!

© 2016 Mark Seguin